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Sometimes, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often coming after a “sudden low”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his behavior, making him particularly vulnerable to criticism from external sources. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits through digital sources – and was later confirmed by a specialist. But, he questions he would have taken the label unless he had previously arrived at that understanding by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they experience a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

Though people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what the term implies the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people conceal it, as there is so much stigma around the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through actions such as displaying material goods,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

Though three-quarters of people identified as having NPD are males, findings points out this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I either go into self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been trying to overcome it and accept input from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her partner “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples during development. I’ve had to teach myself all this time the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were insulting me in my early years.”

Origins of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those familiar tactics as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: “They said it is likely to occur early next year.”

John has only told a few individuals about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he says. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number